A few weeks ago, I was talking to my art therapist about how difficult it can be to live how I feel called to when I have to live around others. It’s probably a common struggle. I’ve talked about this briefly in this post. I wrote: “I need to not push myself, I need to take care of myself…I need to focus more on what is right for me and for my family, not for anyone else.” And it felt so so right at the time, and still does. But it’s so difficult to do sometimes.
So when I was talking to my therapist about it, she said one of her personal mantras is, “I gotta be me! I can’t be anyone else.” And she always thinks of this Sammie Davis Jr song:
After I left my session, I stopped for coffee and listened to the song and said, “Yes. Oh yes.”
Sammie, you were a genius sir!
I’ve gotta be me, what else can I be but what I am?
I just wanna live, not merely survive.
This song can work for so many reasons but I wanted to talk about it today to talk about living for you and not for anyone else.
I am reminded of this often, when I am visiting with family or during any holidays or gathering. Almost any time there’s more people involved in something than just my husband, our son and myself. Why? Because we all want to take life slow, enjoy things differently and we know when we are at our limits and need a break.
The rest of the people in our world? Don’t work that way so much. It is damn hard sometimes to live for myself, for my family when my extended family is pushing and pulling and making me feel guilty for some of the choices we want to make in our lives. But you know what? It’s okay!
I’ve gotta be me. And you’ve gotta be you. If cleaning and cooking take precedent in your life? have at it! If you feel it’s important to be with family more than it’s important to clean every day? Have at it! If you need to set a slow pace in your life, not work a 9-5 job and create something that fills you up? Have at it! If you think it’s important to work a steady job, with regular income? Have at it!
My point is that, we all want to live our lives differently and we shouldn’t let how anyone else wants to live guilt us into something we don’t want or need in our lives. Yes, it is hard. It will be a battle. You will probably have to explain to people over and over again some of your choices, or maybe you don’t want to. Just tell them, “This is how I need to live my life. I support your choices, please support mine.”
Share: How do you choose to live? How do you focus on what’s right for you and not be influenced by others?
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