What I Wish I’d Known as a New Mama with Post Partum Depression

What  I Wish I'd Known as a New Mama with Post Partum Depression by Kendra Kantor

It’s okay.

It’s hard.

It’s tiring.

That sounds so simple but sometimes simple is all you need. I remember struggling and doubting and crying and wishing for someone to understand what I was going through.

It’s okay to feel alone, but remember that you aren’t.

It’s okay to feel this way, but remember it will pass.
It’s okay to get professional help. It’s okay to open up to your doctor, midwife or therapist if you are feeling bad.

It’s okay to have doubts and feel like a bad mama (you’re not).
It’s okay if you don’t bond right away.
It’s okay to fight with your partner (you will, a lot).
It’s okay to cry (you’ll do this even more).

It’s okay to give yourself a damn break and let things slide. For a long time. For like a year.

It’s okay to need a break. It’s okay to WANT a break.

It’s okay to worry. But you don’t need to all the time.

It’s okay to let others soothe your child.
It’s okay to not do everything yourself.
It’s okay if you don’t have all the best, newest, most awesome and expensive toys and clothes and gadgets. Really all your baby needs is some diapers, some clothes and your boobs. Oh and love. Lots of love.

It’s okay to be MORE than a mama. You NEED to be more than a mama.

It’s okay to spend a night away if you need or want to.

It’s okay to let your child learn to play independently.

It’s okay to be any kind of parent you want to be, ignore everyone else and do what works for you and your family.

Mama hood is hard people. Go easy on yourself and remember: It’s all going to be okay.

‚ô•Kendra

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3 Comments

  1. Posted 04/08/2014 at 2:24 pm | Permalink

    What a great post! So many of these are taboo to acknowledge within yourself, let alone admit to in a public setting.
    I filled out PPD questionnaire after questionnaire, and it always came back with maybe a 1 or 2, nothing to be concerned about on the postpartum depression scale. So I thought all of what I was experiencing was just normal- the overwhelm, the one-crisis-from-a-meltdown, the hopelessness that he would never stop crying. I don’t know that I had PPD, but there was a lot going on that I had never been told about becoming a mother.

    It’s okay to not love being a mama.
    It’s okay to feel consumed by being endlessly needed.
    It’s okay for your child to bond with someone other than you. The more people that love him, the better.

  2. Posted 04/08/2014 at 10:42 pm | Permalink

    Beautifully said! All mamas need a reminder like this daily!

  3. Posted 04/09/2014 at 9:57 am | Permalink

    Post Natal Depression is actually a killer…some mothers take their own lives because of it. Great to see it openly discussed and brought to light. I’ve worked with clients (as an art therapist) helping mums come to terms with their conflicting feelings – your words are so important. Other tips for new mums available on the blog hop here http://www.joyfulparents.co.uk

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