(My own photo. August 2010. More on flickr)
As I’m starting to write this post it is September 2nd. I moved to PA on August 28th, and my parents left on August 31. I’ve been living alone with a boy for 3 days now.
My boyfriend and I met about 6 and a half years ago, online. We met and connected over my writing. We’re both writers. We would both love to write novels and be published and have that be our jobs some day.
When we met, we were both depressed. I have clinic depression and when I met Scott, I was at a very very low point. I thought it was the worst at the time, since then there have been worse times. But back then was the first time in my life I ever felt suicidal, in a serious way. We connected over our writing and our mutual lows. We helped each other. I think he gave me the strength to talk to my mom and tell her I needed help. We were each others rocks, and we still are.
Since then, it’s been over 6 years and we have had a very very long road to get where we are. A million downs and a million ups, visits to each other whenever we had the cash and time to spare. Usually it was only about 2 times a year, which was awful and not enough. This past year and a half we were lucky and saw each other almost 10 times. We have been through things together that at times, I literally thought would break me. But we’ve managed to pull through, we’ve managed to both hold on and keep going and keep each other together when times were hard.
I have to tell you, a long distance relationship is awful, and amazing at the same time.
I think that Scott and I would not be where we are (emotionally, and mentally) if we didn’t have the distance. So often I loathed it, and wished and cried for us to be closer.
But when I really sit and think about it, I am grateful for it. We are so much closer than most of the other couples I have ever seen, we know each others cores and all the emotions and thoughts going on with the other. We are closer because for 6 and a half years, we were 500+ miles apart. Sounds a bit insane doesn’t it? But it’s true.
However, now that we have no miles between us…now that I’m sitting in my awesome new art room and he’s out in the living room reading, I would never wish for the distance again.
After living so many years apart, I thought it would be a weird transition to suddenly be living together. But it hasn’t been. We are always instantly comfortable with each other and it feels so normal to be where we are now that it’s not weird or odd in the slightest.
And now as I’m finishing writing this it’s Saturday and it’s our date day/night! We have decided to make every Saturday a date date/night, I think we’re going on a picnic today because for the first time since I got here it’s below 85 degrees!
There’s more going on with me. I’m not entirely inspired yet in my new home, but I finally finally feel ready to start searching and to find my new dreams and my new future again. I’ll share my journey along the way, promise.
(ps- I apologize for the mushiness today. I just wanted to give a little update on my life right now and this is what it is)
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