Reverb10:An annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. Use the end of your year as an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. With Reverb 10 – and the 31 prompts our authors have created for you – you’ll have support on your journey.
This post is going to be LONG, just so you know.
This thing is everywhere! It seems like everyone is doing Reverb10 this year. I think it’s fantastic.
I started it on Day 2 (signing up a day late), and I’ve been writing my responses down in a notebook with the intention of blogging them every few days. There were too many posts scheduled last week and I didn’t want to post this on the weekend so today I’m posting Days 1-6 and then I’ll post every few days or so with my responses from here on out. My fiance is doing this with me too! It’s so great, we sit at the computer at night, listening to music and talking out each prompt with each other and writing.
December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)
What a way to start off the challenge! I’ll admit I really struggled this prompt at first. One word? How do I pick just one word and how do I know if it’s the best word? When I first read the prompt and read a few responses by other people, I felt like I needed a more…uplifting word. Something positive. So many blog posts I was seeing used the words “believe”, “faith”, “change”. Words that have positive connotations to me.
But in the end, I decided my word for 2010 is: Shifting.
I think this word really defines everything that took place for me during 2010. Physically I shifted. I moved from Boston to Pennsylvania. But more than that my passions shifted, my mentality is still shifting from thoughts of worthlessness and failure because I left school to a rebirth and self improvement attitude. I shifted many of my dreams to fit my new life, I’m shifting the way I think to improve myself. I guess, in a way shifting is almost synonymous with change and transform here. I have changed where I am…mentally, physically and emotional and as this year moves to a close I’m slowly shifting to a much better place. I’m working on me, I’m thinking about the past, my new future and my present so much more.
My word for 2011 is: Learn.
I think I might have had an even harder time picking a word for next year then I did figuring out this year! I didn’t want a word that was too…optimistic. I saw a few people write “happy” or “joy”. Yes, those are great things and I hope my next year is filled with both but I’m too realistic (or pessimistic maybe?) to make either of those all encompassing words for the whole next year.
At the same time, I wanted to be more positive. This past year (hell the past 2 years) have been pretty awful and things are different than what I thought they would be but they are good, I’m starting to be in a good place and I want next year to be good as well.
So my word is learn.
I want to learn so many new art techniques. That’s simple. I want to learn about me. I want to understand who I am as an artist, as a love, as a wife, as a blogger, as an individual and as a member of the world. I want to learn how to balance and how to be successful. I want to learn what lies ahead for me. I want to learn what dreams are next and which I really need to start to let go. I want to learn to not get so stressed.
Learn. Here’s to 2011!
December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)
At first I wasn’t sure if by ‘writing’ I should talk about blog writing or creative writing. I write for my blog almost everyday. I am almost always writing and scheduling posts but I don’t think that’s what I want to focus on for this prompt.
I used to be a poet. I used to be a writer. I want to write poems, novels, short stories, create amazing characters that I, and others, can fall in love with. I want to create a world so realistic, people want to live there. And yet…I haven’t written any poems in almost 8 months and I haven’t written (novel) in about 6 months. Why?
There are a lot of reasons. I get busy blogging, tweeting. The last 3 months I’ve been busy enjoying finally living with my fiance after a 6+ years long distance relationship. I could quote any of these these as the reasons I don’t write.
But in the end, it’s myself. I don’t write because of me.
I don’t write because I have a horrid inner-critic, I don’t write because I have a very skewed definition of failure. I’m afraid of failing at one more thing in my life. Failing at things I love isn’t fun and I’m tired of it. I don’t want to fail my characters, I don’t want to fail at words because I have a beautiful, love relationship with language.
Yes, I can eliminate myself. Well, in a way. I can let myself fail. Because in my head, I know all first novels suck. I know writing takes time, I know you have to edit edit edit edit until you bleed from your eyes to make something perfect. But my little heart just doesn’t want to listen. It just wants what I create to be amazing the first go around. Crazy of me isn’t it?
I’m working on it.
I’m not going to start writing (creatively) now. I’m working on improving how I think and who I am right now. doing Reverb10 is part of that. Someday, next year…I’ll start to write again. I’ll stop holding myself back.
December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
Funny story. Like I said above, my fiance and I work on our prompts together. When we read this one, we got silent for a moment and then both said “our engagement,” at the same time without knowing what the other was thinking. Cute!
So.
Moment.
The rest of the year was filled with bad feels, failure, stresses, self doubt and depression. Most of the year I wanted to not be alive, so how could I possibly have felt alive during all of this?
3 months ago, I moved in with my (then) boyfriend. We’ve been together for 6+ years now, long distance the entire time until now. Yes, I felt alive. Still, I was stressed and depressed and worried about the life I was giving up and the responsibilities I was taking on.
October 16, 2010.
I knew the proposal was coming. I picked out the ring and I was home when the package arrived (we ordered offline) and no, I didn’t peak at it! I kind of knew, the day it happened that it was going to happen. He wasn’t obvious about it at first. But I was in a pretty grumpy mood and, his mind must have been very occupied!, he didn’t do much to help. So I knew something was up. We went out to lunch then drove about an hour to a local state park.
We wandered around, collecting leaves, enjoying the waterfalls and beautiful autumn day. Eventually, we ended up in a secluded part of the park (there were a lot of people there that day). Sitting on some rocks on the bank of the water, my butt frozen to the rock. And I knew it was going to happen.
It was so simple, so us. It was in nature, alone with water and trees around us. There was no jumping up and down (I’m not really that kind of girl) but my heart was filled with joy and smiles and I was so happy. I was alive for the first real time all year.
(you can read more about our engagement and see more pictures in this post)
♥Are you participating in Reverb10? Let me know so I can check out your blog posts! If not…You can still sign up! Just go to Reverb10 and sign up to participate.
(days 3-6 will be up early tomorrow)
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