Reverb10: Days 4-6

Read days 1-3 Here

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

Okay, I’ll admit…when I’m stuck on a prompt I search #reverb10 on twitter and see what others are writing for the day. I was pretty confused about this prompt at first and after reading a lot of posts, I still was.

I felt like a lot of people aren’t defining wonder as much as I would like. Maybe I want it defined more for me, not for anyone else really. I’m still not positive I know exactly what to define wonder as.
Wonder.
Awe.
To be inspired by something.
Wonder.
To be curious.
Finding something fascinating.

Wonder is so many things.
I am a curious girl. I love nature, I love the forces of nature and I’m so fascinated by how things in nature function and work. I am in love with the night sky because it’s beautiful and astronomy is such a vast, unknown subject. I am in awe at the way some people behave, at how they think. I am intrigued by the impact books, music, movies can have on me and others. I am inspired.

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.”
– Albert Einstein
“Wonder is the first of all the passions.” — Descartes

A few beautiful, meaningful quotes.
I don’t think I consciously, or even subconsciously cultivate wonder. Wonder is all around me, all around all of us. You have have to be open to seeing it, you have to be willing to be curious about what makes the world move and interested in why the leaves change or the way clouds form. You can to notice the leaves as they fall, the snow as it drifts and the sun as it rises and you will cultivate wonder inside of you and let it inspire as it seeps in.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

Letting go.
We all must let go of things, or people at some point in our lives.
Some things we left go of, happen because we are letting go of the negative. Others, we let go of unwillingly but are forced.

This year I let go of a lot of things.

1-Dreams. The ideas and expectations I had for my future. Passions. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a photographer. It was my passion, I thought it was beautiful. I was in love with my camera and couldn’t stop taking photos. And then something snapped. Art school happened and I lost it. I hated it. I didn’t want to be a photographer anymore. I didn’t touch my cameras for months. I didn’t enjoy it anymore. Maybe it will come back someday. But right now, I’m letting go of the passions I had. I’m letting go of the ideas I had for my future. If I knew 2 years ago this was where I was going to be, I wouldn’t have believed you. I let go of the life I had imagined and that’s okay. I’ve also let go of feeling sad about it all. I’m realizing that maybe I’m not meant to be a photographer and if I am, it will come back. I’m realizing that the here and now is just as beautiful and special as what I had imagined years ago.
2-My Grandfather. In August this year my grandfather passed away. I wasn’t that close to him, but his passing was hard on me. My grandmother passed away 3 years ago now, and it’s still recent enough that when I think of my grandfather’s passing this summer, I think of her. They were my mothers parents. They were the only grandparents I ever knew. Family is insanely important to me and while my whole family is close, my grandparents always seemed to be the glue, ya know? The year after my grandmother passed, at our yearly family reunion…everyone remarked that it felt like 5 people were missing from the group. In reality it was only her, her presence was that strong. I was 17(maybe 16?) when my grandmother passed, she was the first close family member of mine to die. I’ve never had to let go of another person before in that way. When I was younger, I remember imagining them both around at my wedding, when I have children of my own. I miss them both everyday.
3-Bad habits. Being the bad girl I am (not really, I’m an awful rebel), I was a smoker for a long time. Well before I was legal. And going to Art School, living in Boston…being on my own and being stressed out of my mind made me an even heavier smoker. I promised my fiance that I was going to quit when we moved in together. (I told him this last year before I started school). And I held my promise. When I moved in with him 3 months ago, I quit. As of last Thursday, I haven’t had a cigarette in 3 months! I’m pretty darn proud of myself for letting this one go!
4- A negative place. This goes pretty strongly with #1 but I thought it should be it’s own. I let go of an environment that was pretty toxic to me. I love the idea of art school but I just don’t think it fit me. I felt awful going to class everyday. So completely uninspired and unmotivated. So I let it go. It’s gone. I’m gone.

In the end, I think out of the 4 things I let go, 3 were negative things that were good for me to let go.

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

Hmm..This one seems like a trick question.
Too easy.
Okay, literally…the last thing I made was coffee.

I also last made about 10 new blog banners (using photoshop, drawings, photography etc).
I made new photographs.
I made myself upset when someone I cared about told me something I want won’t work.
I made mail art.
I made my art room pretty with christmas lights.

I am constantly making.
Constantly creating. I like the word creating better. I can make a lot of things but I can’t create as much. Can you?

♥
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