Last week, when I was working on my weird little quilt, I got the urge to sew on paper. Sewing on paper is really addictive and so lovely.
I sewed and painted this background, on a piece of kraft paper (my new love).
Before I show the finished page, I wanted to write out some of my thoughts.
I feel like I’ve been on auto-pilot on my blog as of late. I post everyday (week day) and I love my blog. But my blog has all been weekly features, inspirations and fun crafts I’ve been working on.
I always talk about bloggers being honest and to talk about reality, because in reality….no one is happy all the time. I think I haven’t been sharing life enough lately.
And in my reality, (sadly) I’m not happy most of the time.
It’s really fascinating to me how I can go through so many ups and downs in one week, in one day…in one hour even.
There are some great things going on in my life, and they make me smile, a lot.
But then other things are so tough it’s hard to remember the good sometimes.
My head knows how important it is to focus on the good things.
That I’m alive, living with the most amazing guy, that I have a supportive family, a lovely blog and a whole future ahead of me.
But, for those of you out there who, like me, have depression…life isn’t always that simple is it? You’re not alone in feeling awful even when 80% of your life is in a great place.
I haven’t been talking about myself, or my feelings much on here lately because I feel like I’ll start sounding like a broken record. People will come here for inspiration or art or just because and every other post would be about how depressed I am. I think it would get old. Even I would get annoyed be reading that. As bloggers I think we have to be honest, but that doesn’t mean all we have to talk about is how we feel.
Anyways. I’m stuck in a place and I don’t know how to get out of it. I push and push on all sides and I’m just trapped. Have you ever felt this way?
I came back to my stitched up page (I’m actually writing this post out on Tuesday, when I finished the page). I was having a really hard day, all I wanted to do was crawl back into my fort and sleep.
I was listening to my Chantal Kreviazuk station on Pandora and Ingrid Michaelson‘s Keep Breathing came on. It was just what I needed at the time. So I added the words to my page as a reminder.
There are two lines from her song on my page “All I can do is keep breathing” and “All we can do is keep breathing” and then I added something of my own, “There is always another day, another chance.”
It’s true and I think it’s something a lot of us need to remember more often. No, I’m not 100% better because I did this page or listened to Keep Breathing over and over and over and over (and over) again, but I hung up the page next to my desk, I took a few deep breaths…I wrote out this post to share with the world. Sometimes we just have to write out what we’re feeling, sometimes we need to give ourselves words to live by. Sometimes we need to share with others. I hope that sharing these things on here help people, I hope that those out there with depression feel less alone after reading posts like this.
I won’t promise that it will get better, because who am I to say. But if we keep breathing, then there will always be another day and another chance to get things right.
♥
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