Recently, I’ve been reading through a lot of my older blog posts. I’ve been focusing the most on the posts from the last year and a half when my mental health was in rapid decline. I noticed so many posts where I was questioning what I needed in my life to make it better.
I need this,
I want this,
this needs to change.
But I had no answers and very little forward movement or progress on my health.
I’m not sure when my mindset changed, exactly. During my time away from internet-land for sure. Looking back at my break, I think it was more beneficial than I realized at the time.
Now I’m writing more again and I’m looking back to see my progress. I can’t remember the last day I sat around in a shitty mood thinking, “What do I need in my life so I don’t feel this way?” Instead when I have a day when my anxiety is more intense or my depression feels all encompassing, I ask myself, “What can I do now?”
What can I do to pull myself out of this funk, this grump, this shitty mood?
What can I do to get myself out of the situation that is making me anxious?
What changes can I, or my family, make to improve our lives so this feeling doesn’t happen over and over again?
No longer is my life about what I wish would just magically change or what I just wish was different already so I was drowning and sinking and all out floundering in this life.
Life is slowly, but so so surely, becoming less about surviving and more about living.
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