Waiting…

(via MoreInterpretations)

Today, I had my last official class/final! I have one more thing to go to for school, but nothing to stress over (and it’s not until next Friday).

For the summer, I decided I want…no need…to spend the time on me and on enjoying, something, anything, everything! I haven’t been blogging much the last 2 months, there are many reasons really, I just didn’t want the pressure on top of everything else. I love my blog and didn’t want it to become a chore.
So now that it’s summer, maybe I’ll post more, you ask?

Well…maybe.

Here’s the thing, several months ago, I talked about writing a post about my experiences with Art School. The post is written, sitting in my drafts folder. I’m nervous to post it, I don’t know why. But I am.
And after that, I have 2 or 3 posts that come after that post that talk about my life now and I can’t post those until I post the aforementioned post.

The real problem? Well in a nutshell let’s just say…I’m not happy. I don’t know where I want to go in my life anymore…

I’m not sure if I understand the function of art.

Wow.
Did I just say that out-loud? (figuratively of course)

It’s strange to say, even stranger to think when art has been my life for so long…I spent years and year researching photographing, art schools and waking up at 4am because it was my passion, my calling.

And now? I don’t know.
I don’t think I know the purpose of it all.
I don’t understand the purpose when everything goes wrong and I just can’t get a damn break and be happy for longer than a week.

Now I’m ranting.

Let’s just say, with how hectic I feel and how…anxious I feel because I don’t know where I want to go in my life, it leaves me sitting here..at 1 am wondering what the hell to do with my blog?

I am waiting…waiting for what? I’m not sure. This is a very random, desperate and odd posting I know. But I just wanted to write it.

I thought I should just say I’m not dead, I’m alive and trying to work my way back to something.