The other night, Jeffrey was fussier than he had been in a long time at bedtime. I think he’s teething so we were walking around the house, trying to distract him. We stepped out on the front porch for a few minutes because he loves the outdoors.

I inhaled.
Looked up.
Shivered from the cold night air and gust of wind.

I paused and I realized how disconnected from nature I am right now. I go outside at least everyday. To sit with Jeffrey on the deck, to get a moment away from the constant tv noise (the other people in the house have it on a lot more than suits my energy). And yet. In that moment, I realized that it’s been a long long time since I’ve just sat with nature.

I love nature and no I’m not the most outdoors-y girl in the neighborhood as they say, but we used to go to parks and I would sit and feel the wind, touch the grass with my fingers, smell the changing of the seasons much more clearly.

I used to think my mind was on overdrive. I am always thinking, always wanting to be productive and I thought that took up a lot of my time. I‘ve never been good with the “here and now” but until that moment a few nights ago, I didn’t realize how much better I used to be.

Now, I’m either dealing with a fussy, hungry, tired or under stimulated baby or I’m worried that he’s too fussy or hungry back home without me. I have no way to ground myself with the here and now, with nature. I am missing out on the transition of the seasons as we move from summer to fall. I am missing out on the sights of the trees changing, the smell…oh that smell in the air as the seasons shift and move around us.

What do you do to connect with nature? As a mother? Or as someone in modern society who is always plugged in, who lives in a city, who is always on the go?