100 Things To Do in 2013

It sounds like a huge lofty goal, doesn’t it? 100 Things To Do in 2013. But ya know what? For the most part, this list flowed easily for me. A lot of what is on here are things I (or my family) want to do already and just having their own space to live and remind me will encourage me to complete them.

So in no specific order here is my list:

1- Seek balance – work, mama & wife. Do not get discouraged, life changes, Jeffrey will grow up and change daily, weekly as will my business. Seek, and experiment.
2- Take myself on 1 date a month. I really don’t get out enough, alone. Try things besides the bookstore.
3- Get 4 massages, 1 each season.
4- Get a tattoo.
5- Create a “family activities” month calender each season, starting in the Summer.
6- Take a 3 day weekend with Scott and Jeffrey. A stay-cation is fine, just don’t interact with anyone else in the house.
7- Take a 3 day weekend with just Scott.
8- Go camping with the family.
9- Mentor 5 women.
10- Knit a blanket for Jeffrey, hopefully by his 1st birthday.
11- Read 50 (new to me) books.
12- Take classes – in person or online.
13- Exercise regularly.
14- Eat mindfully.
15- Visit Chicago.
16- Go swimming.
17- Laugh more
18- Earn $2500 from my business.
19- Gain 50 more newsletter subscribers (75 total).
20- Write fiction again, without pressure for it to become anything.
21- Tell my story.
22- Get fucking married!
23- Do things that could potentially make me a friend, I need to connect more, especially with other women.
24- Make a plan for Jeffrey to take classes at Language Stars.
25- Take monthly pictures of Jeffrey after he is 1 years old.
26- Create weekly family traditions (like Saturday breakfast on the porch).
27- Start a savings account.
28- Go on 8 official dates with Scott.
29- Get 4 pedicures.
30- Crystal-ify our new space.
31- At the end of 2013, make personal/professional 3 year goals.
32- Read Norse stories.
33- Read Phantom of the Opera.
34- Go to a play/theater/concert.
35- Make wooden toys + plush toys for Jeffrey and be intentional about what he plays with.
36- Research and implement how to “go green”.
37- Have family dance parties in the living room.
38- Grow things.
39- Go vegetarian for 2 weeks during the summer and utilize local farmers markets.
40- Find mama and baby local activities.
41- Create intentional habits.
42- Fix Scott’s bike.
43- Ride our bikes.
44- Family game night.
45- Organize my computer and files, for real this time.
46- Dye my hair a fun color.
47- I will do, read or watch 2 things Scott recommends.
48- Go to the damn zoo.
49- Go to the Renaissance Festival.
50- Travel to a different state.
51- Work on my personal style.
52- Buy a new bed.
53- Pay off all debt, except student loans.
54- Attend a service or group at UU at least 1 time a month.
55- Hang up a swing for Jeffrey on lower deck.
56- Look in to peer mentoring local teens for mental health.
57- Complete the couch to 5k training program.
58- Do the Zombie 5K Run.
59- Do something awesome for our anniversary (like scuba diving).
60- Shoot 4 rolls of 35mm film.
61- Read Hamlet, aloud to Jeffrey.
62- Take archery lessons.
63- Rent a hasselblad.
64- Go to Gameworks.
65- Water gun/balloon fight.
66- Finish and print our 2011-2012 book.
67- Make sun tea.
68- 20 days without technology (not consecutively).
69- Learn something on the guitar.
70- Make it through all of Dead Island.
71- Volunteer (frogs).
72- Make a radio show/radio station.
73- Take art classes with my mom.
74- Oil paint.
75- Get Jeffrey swim lessons.
76- Take a drive in the country.
77- try out Geocaching.
78- Get a price quote for my ring.
79- Visit Glacial Park.
80- Try to make my handwriting better/prettier.
81- Private!
82- Only say “I’m sorry.” when we really mean it.
83- Visit Anderson Japanese Gardens.
84- Book proposal.
85- Focus on health.
86- Document this list.
87- Take monthly photo walks.
88- Do photo an hour once a month.
89- New blog design/re-brand.
90- Go to the RV and Camping Show in February.
91- Go star gazing
92- Visit the park more
93- Take a bath instead of a shower once in a while.
94- Do yoga.
95- Donate blood.
96-
97-
98-
99-
100-

My list is not finished yet, but that’s okay. It leaves space for thoughts and things to be added throughout the year.

Do you have a list of things to do in 2013? I’d love to see it!

♥Kendra

 

 

01/29/2013
Like a Bird, Lists | Tagged , , , | Thoughts(2)

What To Do When a Loved One Has a Mental Illness

What To Do When a Loved One Has a Mental Illness
It’s hard to live with a mental illness. It’s lonely and painful. But we don’t often look at it from the other side of the coin. We so often talk about raising awareness and getting rid of the stigma surrounding mental illnesses, we fail to look at those around us who love and support us.

I wanted to offer some advice for those who don’t have a mental illness, but for those of you out there who are have a loved one with a mental illness.

Be there.

Probably the most obvious advice but sometimes…it’s not. Don’t be on top of your loved one every second asking if they need something, need to talk, are depressed, etc. But when they need you, be there. Support them, love them, nurture them. Ask if they need to talk and if they say, “no”, sometimes it’s best to ask: “Do you need space or are you just pushing me away? Will we talk later?”

Don’t take everything personally.

This one can be hard. For my fiance and I it is because he also has depression, while not as severe as I do, it’s still there. It’s important to remember that your loved one isn’t being mean, angry, sad, hurtful toward you on purpose. Sometimes it’s all they can do, the only way they can communicate is to yell or shut you out. Sometimes, it will inconvience your life but remember they aren’t doing it on purpose to ruin your life or hurt you.

Educate yourself.

A lot of people don’t understand mental illnesses unless it’s happening to them. I can’t give advice to really comprehend what it’s like to be in the shoes of someone with a mental illness, but you can educate yourself. Read books, talk to your loved ones therapist and ask for information, recommendations and advice.

Make sure they have the help they need.

Some people with depression (or other mental illnesses) will refuse help. I know personally, as much as I said the past 3 years to my fiance, “I need help. Why won’t anyone help me?” I wasn’t willing to actually get the help I so desperately needed and wanted. Sometimes you need to pick up the phone and make that appointment, and then drive and sit in the office with them to get the ball rolling.

Take time for self care.

Yes. One of the most important things is to take care of yourself as well. It can be so consuming to support someone with a mental illness but you won’t be any help to them if you break down too from stress or lack of alone time. Depending on your and your loved ones situation, you may need to ask a friend over to sit with them while you go out for an hour or two and go to the bookstore, for a walk or just out to lunch alone. Don’t neglect your own health and self care.

 

Having a mental illnesses affects more than just the person suffering. While you are immersed in the disease, you feel so lonely even when your loved ones are around. It’s not easy to be the one with the mental illness and it’s not easy to be the one loving and supporting the person with the mental illness. But these are real and I hope my advice can offer a little support to you out there who need it.

Do you, or a loved one need more help? I’m offering mentoring sessions to help get you on the path to recovery. Go here to read more in and get in touch. I’m also here to help those who are supporting someone with a mental illness if they need to talk.


(*please note: I am not a therapist or doctor and my services should not be used in place of therapy or medication if it is needful.)

♥Kendra

 

Like a Bird

01/22/2013
Like a Bird, Mental Health Wellness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Thoughts(1)

In 2013, I Will Focus On Creating Roots and Improving My Health

I wasn’t going to pick a word for 2013. Last year my word was ‘peace’ and no, I don’t feel like I can to know peace in my life or self during 2012 as much as I would have liked to.
And so, I was’t going to sit and think on something to focus on for the coming year because it sounded daunting, and scary and just…not right.

And then, on Yule, my fiance and I were doing a few tarot spreads for the coming year and on instinct, I asked the cards to show me a word to focus on. I drew the 10 of Wands, my little book that accompanies my deck said, “Roots. Emotions that call us, go where the heart calls.”

Yes.

So yes.

The moment I saw those words, it clicked.

Roots.

There so much fueling how right this feels and for the moment, some of it seems to personal to discuss (how odd, really). But I’ve been learning a few things recently and here they are.

-I need to focus more on what is right for me and for my family, not for anyone else. That may seem obvious but…it’s just not. It started a few weeks ago, we were getting the house ready for the holidays and I kept hiding in our bedroom because I couldn’t handle the stress. I told my fiance, “I need to not push myself, I need to take care of myself.” And then…then I read an amazing post “The radically alive holiday: “on your own terms” edition” from Kate at Your Courageous Life.

Oh boy is she so so right. Yes, I said and shared it with my fiance. Who agreed wholeheartedly that I need to focus on what’s right for me. On Christmas Day, my family usually goes to see a movie (like a lot of the world I think!) but I just…couldn’t the anxiety of it was too much, I haven’t been to a movie since Jeffrey was born. And while he is weaned (another long long story for another day), I couldn’t leave him or the house that day.

My sister begged, said it was silly and scoffed off my anxiety telling me I wouldn’t have an anxiety attack. It hurt. Her lack of support made me feel slightly guilty that I couldn’t go, but it also made me need to stay even more. And I did. And it was the right decision.

-More than anything, Roots, is about building our foundation as a family. The three of us. Before Jeffrey was born, there was no way I could imagine never being with my siblings and parents for the holidays. I couldn’t think we would ever have our own home and want to do most of our celebrating just us.

But I was wrong.

Their energy isn’t right for us, it’s great in small bursts. But we need to start the traditions and lying the roots and foundations that will grow and support our family of three this year. We need to live in the energy and space that is right for us.

-The images on my tarot cards depicted a turtle with plants growing from it’s back. To me, that spoke that yes our roots are growing but we are still moving. This isn’t our place to settle yet, but we need to start and let them slowly go forward.

I did my tarot reading at Yule and as the next week went by, another word began to emerge. Something just as important and meaningful to my life.

Health.

2013 needs needs NEEDS to be the year my fiance and I focus on our health. If my anxiety isn’t holding me in it’s clutches, then I’m dizzy or my shoulder hurts and either way, I sit crying while I can’t pick up my son or get on the floor and play with him.

No more.

I need to: start seeing my therapist again, get on better antidepressants, take vitamins, eat healthy, see a chiropractor, go to the dentist, go to the eye doctor, exercise. Be proactive for my health. It’s not about loosing weight for me, not at all. It’s about my mental and physical health for myself and for my son.

Some of these things are still in the works. The hardest part is actually doing it, just like anything. But the first step, is getting a new medication and then seeing a chiropractor. We need to take it one step at a time, but focus on health and wellness and life instead of idleness.

Editors Note: I wrote this post on January 1st and since then I’ve: joined weight watchers (still learning about it, haven’t officially started tracking yet), saw my primary doctor, who switched me from paxil to cymbalta, went to see the chiropractor for the first time (got a small adjustment and we made an action plan moving forward) Made an appointment to see my therapist again (since about October!) for this week. Oh and in November we joined a gym (ignore the fact that we haven’t gone yet). So making progress already.

What are you focusing on in 2013?

♥Kendra

 

 

01/15/2013
Like a Bird, reflections | Tagged , , , , , , | Thoughts(4)